Spill a bag of rice on the floor and hope the OCD thing is true.
that’ll just end with me and some old biddy nosferatu making unblinking eye contact as we try to pick up all the rice. there and then, we have a bonding moment. she cleans my kitchen. I tell her how to filter messages sent to her gmail account. we have some tea and talk about the state of the world.
then at dawn I chop her up into 500 pieces like a proper fairy tale. no hard feelings, old lady nosferatu. no hard feelings.
all my garlic went bad
Banned Grey Poupon ad is hilariously wrong [YouTube]
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN
WHY WAS THIS BANNED THIS IS BRILLIANT
They saw their chance and they fuckin took it.
ohhhhh myyyyy goooodddd
reading reporters’ attempts to use tech terms casually is like trying to watch someone speak with a mouth full of pennies
I just spit water on my notebook goddamnit
my hair looks ridiculous today I love it